When Love Isn’t Enough: Why the Law Requires Marriage… and sometimes, more than Divorce

Here’s the uncomfortable truth no one wants to talk about over a romantic dinner: love alone has absolutely no legal power.

The law doesn’t care how long you’ve been together, how intertwined your lives are, or how certain you were that “of course they’ll get everything.” When it comes to probate and inheritance, the law cares about legal status, and contractual paperwork—not feelings.

So let’s talk about three very real (and very common) situations where love isn’t enough—and how failing to plan can leave the people you care about most shocked, excluded, or unintentionally disinherited.

1. Long-Term Love Does Not Equal Legal Rights

You may have shared a home, raised children together, built a life, and even referred to each other as husband or wife. But if you were not legally married, the law will treat your partner as a legal stranger.

That means:

• No automatic inheritance

• No priority to serve as personal representative

• No guaranteed right to the home

• No right to sentimental or jointly used property unless titled correctly

If you pass away without a plan, your estate passes according to intestacy statutes—and your significant other is not legally on that list.

2. Divorce Isn’t the Finish Line—It’s the Starting Gun

Divorce feels like an ending. Emotionally, financially, and mentally, most people are exhausted by the time the decree is signed. Estate planning is usually the last thing on anyone’s mind.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly when it matters most.

While divorce may automatically revoke certain provisions in a will, it does not clean up everything:

• Beneficiary designations on life insurance or retirement accounts may still name your ex

• Property division doesn’t always align with probate outcomes

• Failure to update documents can leave dangerous gaps

And if you die mid-divorce, things get even messier. You may still be legally married, which means your estranged spouse could retain spousal rights under probate law.

Common post-divorce assumptions (that are wrong)

3. The Second Spouse Often Gets Everything—Even If the First One Built It

This one surprises people the most.

In blended families, especially second marriages later in life, it’s incredibly common for one spouse to bring most (or all) of the assets into the marriage. The assumption is usually something like:

“My spouse will take care of my kids.” Sometimes that happens. Often, it doesn’t.

Under intestacy laws and poorly drafted (or outdated) estate plans, the surviving spouse frequently receives the majority—or all—of the estate. Once that happens:

• The surviving spouse can change their will

• Assets can be redirected to the surviving spouse's children

• Your children from a prior relationship may receive nothing

How this plays out in real life

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, newly divorced, remarried, or somewhere in between, failing to plan doesn’t keep things simple. It does the opposite.

If you don’t put your intentions in writing, the law will apply a one-size-fits-all solution to a very personal situation. And for many families, that’s when heartbreak turns into litigation.

Legal Disclaimer

This blog post is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be, nor should it be construed as, legal advice.

Probate, inheritance, marital rights, and estate planning laws vary by state and are highly fact-specific. The outcomes discussed in this article depend on individual circumstances, applicable statutes, and current law, which may change over time. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for legal advice from a qualified attorney licensed in your jurisdiction.

If you have questions about your rights, your estate, or how probate laws may apply to your specific situation, you should consult with an attorney experienced in probate and estate matters in Kansas or Missouri.