When Love Isn’t Enough: Why Your Partner May Get Nothing If You Die Before Marriage
It is extremely common for couples to build a life together long before they ever have a wedding. Some couples live together for five, ten, or even twenty years before getting legally married. Some never plan to marry at all, but still share homes, bills, car loans, and everyday life.
But here’s the heartbreaking truth most people don’t realize:
If you are not legally married and you die without proper legal planning, the person you love most may receive nothing.
Not the house.
Not the bank accounts.
Not your life insurance (unless they’re the listed beneficiary).
Not even your car.
We see this happen over and over again in Kansas City probate courts, and by the time someone calls our office, it’s too late to fix.
The Law Doesn’t Recognize Long-Term Partners Without Legal Action
Missouri and Kansas do not have common-law marriage (Kansas only recognizes it in limited circumstances with specific requirements). Even if you have lived together for years, the law does not treat your partner as family when someone dies.
That means:
Your partner does not automatically inherit your assets.
Your partner has no rights to joint property unless their name is legally attached.
Your parents, children, or siblings may inherit everything—even if you were estranged.
Your partner may be forced out of the home you shared.
They may still be stuck with joint bills, leases, and debts they can’t afford alone.
It doesn’t matter how in love you were. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. If the law doesn’t see your partner as your spouse, they don’t get spousal rights.
Common Situations
These are common problems we see with unmarried couples after one partner dies unexpectedly:
❖ The Surviving Partner Can’t Stay in the Home
A couple lives together but only one of them is on the deed. When that person dies, the house passes to their legal heirs—often their parents, children, or siblings. The partner who lived there for years has no legal right to stay.
❖ Joint Leases Become a Nightmare
Let’s say a couple rents an apartment and they are both on the lease. When one partner dies, the surviving partner may still be responsible for the full rent but can’t afford it alone. They also don’t receive any assets from the deceased’s estate to help them move.
❖ Car Loans and Debt Don’t Go Away
Many couples share vehicles or co-sign. If one dies, the surviving partner may be stuck with loan payments, insurance, and expenses—but no claim to the car itself if their name isn’t on the title.
❖ Personal Belongings Can Be Taken
We’ve seen grieving partners locked out of their own home, removed from the funeral planning process, and even denied access to clothing, gifts, letters, pets, and personal items because the deceased person’s legally recognized family took over.
What Happens When There’s No Will?
If someone dies without a Will (called dying “intestate”), the law decides who inherits. In both Kansas and Missouri, unmarried partners are not on that list.
Who gets everything instead?
In Missouri:
If the person has children, the children inherit.
If no children, the parents inherit.
If no parents, siblings inherit.
Unmarried partners get zero.
In Kansas:
If the person has children, the children inherit.
If no children, the parents or siblings inherit.
Again—long-term partners are excluded.
Even if everyone “knows” what the deceased would have wanted, the law doesn’t care without proper planning.
How to Protect the Person You Love
If you’re not married yet—or you don’t plan to get married—there are several ways to protect your partner so they are not left with nothing.
1. Make a Will
A Will names who should inherit your property when you die. Without one, your partner is not legally recognized.
2. Use Transfer-on-Death (TOD) or Beneficiary Deeds
In Missouri, you can transfer your home directly to your partner upon death without probate. In Kansas, there are similar mechanisms.
3. Name Your Partner as a Beneficiary
Review:
Life insurance
Bank accounts
Retirement accounts
Investment accounts
Many people forget to update these after divorce or career changes.
4. Title Your Home Correctly
If only one name is on the deed and that person dies first, the surviving partner has no rights. Joint tenancy with rights of survivorship may help in some situations.
5. Create a Trust
A Revocable Living Trust is one of the strongest ways to protect unmarried partners. It allows the surviving partner to stay in the home, access money, and avoid probate court altogether.
6. Consider Powers of Attorney
Without legal documents, your partner may not have the right to make medical or financial decisions for you in an emergency.
Planning Before Marriage Matters
Many couples in Kansas City get engaged and plan to “handle everything later,” assuming their future spouse is automatically protected. But sometimes “later” never comes.
Car wrecks. Sudden illness. Unexpected diagnosis. Workplace accidents.
We have seen people in lose the person they built a life with—and walk away with nothing because the law only protects legal spouses.
If you plan to marry but haven’t yet, the law still treats you as strangers.
The Bottom Line
In Missouri and Kansas, love and commitment aren’t enough to protect your partner legally. Unless you are married or have a plan in place, your partner may be left with no rights, no property, and no access to your assets.
A simple Will, deed update, beneficiary form, or trust can spare the people you love from heartache and financial disaster.
If you’re living with someone you care about—or planning a life together—it’s time to make sure the law recognizes it.
Legal Disclaimer
This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not create an attorney-client relationship. The information provided is general in nature and may not apply to your specific situation. For advice about estate planning or probate in Missouri or Kansas, please contact a licensed attorney.